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Gay Wedding Etiquette

It has been said that wedding etiquette begins with the invitations and ends at the reception. Etiquette is a set of rules that dictates everything from where to seat your guests to what to write in your vows and invitations.  Here are some tips for etiquette at a gay or lesbian wedding.

A Good Starting Place
The invitations are one of the most important parts of gay wedding etiquette. When writing them, use the plural form of both (ex.: Mesdames Nancy Smith and Amber Jones and Mssrs John Powell and Paul Linden).

When wording your invitation, always use the third person. Don’t use abbreviations, and if two people both have the same occupation, you can use that in the invitation. For example, “Doctors” instead of “Doctor Jones and Doctor Michaels.” For more tips check out

The Importance of Etiquette at the Ceremony
Now that you are at the wedding, you have to decide where to sit. At a traditional wedding, it’s easy because it is split in half with the bride’s guests on one side and the groom’s on another. Essentially, a gay wedding is the same way.  It is also important to note that it isn’t rude to sit as close to the action as you want. Just use a little common sense, and you should be fine.

Once everybody is seated where they are supposed to, it’s time to turn your attention to the vows. Trying to choose wedding vows for a same sex wedding can be difficult if you are looking for something traditional. Writing your own vows is always appropriate, but if you want something more on the standard side, there are in fact passages in the Bible that are suitable for a same sex marriage ceremony.

Closing Things Up
At the reception, there is little difference between gay and straight weddings.  You still need placement cards. There is still a dance for the newlyweds, and the best man still makes a speech.

A Quick Tip
One thing to remember is that gay wedding etiquette isn’t very different from straight wedding etiquette. People who are new to same sex unions just get a little scared because they aren’t used to seeing two brides or two grooms.

At, there are all sort of resources for gay and lesbian weddings.

When planning or going to a same sex marriage, do a little research first, but always remember to use common sense.
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